Friday, November 30, 2012

Fear of Chapped Lips


It's the time. You can smell his pungent cologne. His eyes are big and blue. He's breathing heavier and so are you. He proceeds to say: "I had a really nice time with you tonight." You reply politely thanking him for the dinner and movie, but as you reach to open the Lamborghini door he pulls you back. He looks deeply in your eyes and smiles as he goes in for a goodnight kiss. BUT WAIT. Once he smiles you see the unsightly cracks on the skin of his lips. Huge ridges cover his lips like a 12 mile deep crevasse in a glacier. Your mind goes to the worst hallucination possible: blood starts spurting out of his parched lips as dead skin pieces fly all over covering your face and hair. He is kissing you with his sandpaper lips and it's contagious. Your lips are slowly shriveling up like your sinister partner's. They feel like a raison shrinking and cracking in the sun. Finally you snap back from your dream. Your date is still going in for a goodnight kiss, and you let out a shriek. Quickly, you bolt out of the car, unlock your door, sprint to your bed, hide under the covers, and apply copious amounts of chapstick. Crisis averted.

6 comments:

  1. Kate Zobel. This was magnificent. I love the way you told your incredibly fearful story instead of simply describing your fear. Bravo, my dear. Also, yes. Chapped lips. Ick.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kate,
    This was so enjoyable to read! I loved how you fit your fear into this story-- I can just hear you reading out loud.
    Chapped lips are just annoying! I always carry some chapstick around, so if you ever need some give me a holler. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kate! This was an awesome and amusing blog post! Your story was very descriptive, and I enjoyed reading it. I could picture this pre-kissing situation happening. I especially liked the way you described the cracked lips of the boy. You have convinced me to always carry Chap Stick around to avoid chapped lips. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is some excellent writing! I really enjoyed your story. One question though: who are you going on dates with that is driving a Lamborghini? I'm not doubting you. I'm just asking.

    ReplyDelete
  5. K8,
    I'm not sure why one would h8 on this depiction of chapped lips, because it made me personally phone8 words of praise! Perhaps a combination between phosp8s and sulf8s in his diet made for this unsightly f8. Overall, this story was gr8.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Why are you so hilarious Kate Zobel? I wish I was you. I hate chapped lips as well. The problem is that I hate chap stick too. It never seems to work for me and it makes my hair get stuck to my lips! Your writing is so descriptive and I could actually see this whole scene being played out with you. You are brilliant and that is all I have to say.

    ReplyDelete